


Fixations

by cyndrarae



Category: Dark Angel
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-08
Updated: 2012-09-08
Packaged: 2017-11-13 20:16:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/507330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyndrarae/pseuds/cyndrarae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-S2, Terminal City is surrounded. Nobody can move in or out without putting the tenuous truce at risk. And if the ceasefire breaks, transgenics will not have enough resources to defend against the combined might of the army, NSA, and SeattlePD. Logan decides to pay a visit to an eccentric old, ridiculously rich uncle to try and get some much-needed funds, and Max sends Alec to escort him as his bodyguard/therapist/driver. Histories come up, and feelings and obsessions… and things get more complicated than either man could ever expect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for darkangel_bb challenge.

**[I]**

It started with the hands. 

Fingertips to be precise, gliding elegantly over a rickety old keyboard someone salvaged from the wreckage of what used to be a Biotronics R&D facility inside Terminal City. Fingernails clean and filed to the skin and slightly calcium-deficient, attached to insanely long, slender digits that barely faltered as they went about efficiently composing a letter to who knows who asking for who the fuck cares what. 

Knuckles; had to be the knuckles. Alec just couldn’t take his eyes off the pale white knuckles. He could still see red bruises around a couple of them on each hand, souvenirs from their last encounter with the Familiars back at Jam Pony, no doubt. His breath hitched when the fingers paused, indicating their owner was taking a moment to gather their thoughts. The left hand’s index finger absently drummed the letter ‘S’ lightly, repeatedly, before the typing commenced again. Louder this time, and more purposeful, as if inspired by a stroke of sudden genius.

The slim and bony wrists were not what you’d expect on a tall man in the prime of his youth, not that they were delicate in any way, mind you. Hell, Alec had personally felt the strength of those hands as they’d gripped his forearm and hoisted him up to his feet just days ago. Subconsciously he reached with his left hand for that spot just above his right elbow. 

He could still feel it tingle.

The way those wrists rested against the harsh edge of the keyboard, day in and day out, Alec wondered if there were permanent depressions at the base of those palms. He wondered what it’d feel like to touch them, those depressions. And if they’d be like darker patches of dead skin, unresponsive to his touch. Or if they’d be tender and soft and elicit helpless little gasps from the otherwise stoic individual who hardly ever made a sound he did not _intend_ to be heard.

Alec felt like a soldier at the end of a hyper-charged skirmish (which wasn’t so far from the truth), seeking respite from the chaos in his head, the adrenaline still thrumming in his veins. What better way to escape it all but immerse himself in the absolutely mundane, the mind-numbingly ordinary? And yet something about _this_ set of hands the war-weary soldier found incredibly, breathtakingly… extraordinary.

“Alec!!”

The X5 jolted out of his thoughts and turned to the very annoyed, high-pitched voice calling him. He blinked himself back to reality as if from a dream. Already the last catches of it were slipping away from him so he almost couldn’t remember what he’d been dreaming of. Almost.

“Why are you still here?” Max demanded, walking towards him. “Didn’t I ask you to double-check the perimeter reinforcements?”

Alec opened his mouth to respond, wide at first before bringing his lips closer in the shape of a tiny ‘O’ and still no excuse came to mind. Max tilted her head at him, calmer than she was a second ago, like she saw something in his face she couldn’t be angry with anymore. 

Like she understood. 

She followed his former line of sight down to the object of his obsessive (but she didn’t know that, maybe) fixation. They stood together at the mezzanine level of the command center. Below them on the first floor sat one of only three humans allowed inside Terminal City. 

Logan.

“What’s he doing?” she asked, not that she couldn’t have read the email from this distance herself. 

They both had some eagle chromosome in their genetic cocktails after all. Might even be the same eagle, poor little bastard. 

Alec quickly scanned through his photographic memory to piece together what he’d read. “He just wrote an email to some guy called Caleb, asking for a meeting. Said something about… not having seen the old house in Puget Sound in ages?”

Max crossed her arms, “Great uncle Caleb, from his mother’s side. Still one of the richest men in the world, if I’m not mistaken.”

Alec frowned. “You think Logan’s planning to ask him to make a generous donation to the Freak Nation Charity Foundation?”

“We discussed it, but I wasn’t sure. Looks like he’s going ahead with it anyway.”

“He forget you used to be a career thief, so were a lot of us? If push came to shove, we can always fall back on our… let’s call it resourcefulness. So what’s the big deal?”

Max sighed. “Transgenics resorting to crime is exactly the break White and our haters are looking for. We can’t afford to take any chances right now.”

Alec narrowed his eyes, looking back at the human as he went about his business, no idea he was being watched and discussed so intently. 

“You really think he’d do it? For us? Come on, the all-mighty Logan Cale is way too proud to stoop to begging for alms, even I know it.”

Max smiled forlornly, studying Logan who’d taken his glasses off and was rubbing his eyes tiredly. “You’ve no idea of all the sacrifices this man has made for us, Alec.”

_See you say ‘us’ but I think you kinda mean ‘me’, don’t you?_ Rhetorical, Alec didn’t want to know, really. 

He watched Max as Max watched Logan. Something prickled at the back of his throat, something that had been blooming, _burning_ , inside of him since the day Logan beat him in a game of pool back at Crash… something that yearned to tell Max (Logan’s not-girlfriend) to train her hungry eyes someplace else. 

Good thing Manticore trained him well at keeping his mouth shut, and his emotions buried.

Max walked away, back to wherever she’d come from and not down to Logan where she obviously wanted to be. There was work to be done. No time for doomed romances as far as the fearless leader of the transgenic revolution was concerned.

Lucky for him, Alec had no place else to be. 

“Alec!” Mac yelled from the door. “Perimeter?”

Alright, so maybe he did. Alec huffed and made to follow her out, but not before he turned to catch one last glimpse of the gorgeous pair of hands before they disappeared into pockets of baggy cargo-pants, two sizes too big, for the lanky frame of one Logan Cale. 

Not that Alec should actually be noticing any of those things – not the hands, not the lankiness… definitely not the pants. 

*-*-*-*


	2. Chapter 2

**[II]**

Stupid square jaw. It was going to be the death of him. 

When Max and Logan were talking (arguing, more like) on the phone the next day, Alec pretended to be screening the security footage so he could be in eavesdropping distance. Two days later, when he knew Max would seek out an X5 who looked like an ordinary (but was anything _but_ ) to escort Logan, he dispatched all candidates who matched the description someplace far, far away from the command center. 

And then when she turned to him, he pretended to be not at all enthusiastic about the task, but _grudgingly_ accepted on the condition that he got to drive the car.

“It’s Logan’s car. You’ll have to take it up with him,” she said, glaring at him longer than he thought was necessary if she was just trying to impress the importance of this mission upon him. 

Yes, he knew he was to escort Logan as his driver slash therapist slash bodyguard (kind of like some guy called Bling that Alec had never met). 

_Yes_ , he understood Caleb Cale was a highly paranoid octogenarian recluse who wouldn’t even trust his own nephew easily. 

YES! He got why Logan would be pretending to still be in the wheelchair; to buy sympathy points from the old man. And because they couldn’t risk flipping him out with a long and complicated story about miracle transfusions. 

And yes, he knew Max was basically forcing Logan into taking Alec with him. She wouldn’t have it any other way, which Logan wasn’t too happy about.

“Can I go now? Logan’s waiting for me.”

Max’s chest heaved a little. Then she jerked her head in a gesture that said ‘get lost’.

Alec took to the old underground tunnel that connected Terminal City to an old condemned building just on the outside a couple blocks away. It was Logan, in fact, who discovered it.

The army was still camped out all around TC, so far upholding their end of the tenuous truce with the transgenics. Their job was to make sure no one got in or out and that’s exactly the way Max wanted it for now – she was just as concerned for transgenics’ safety as the humans were for their own. NSA and Seattle PD were patrolling the rest of the city, rounding up any stray freaks and transporting them over to TC.

At least they _hoped_ their kind were being transported to TC, not shipped in kennels to the DoD to be dissected like lab rats. 

Either way, the ceasefire agreement made moving in and out of TC difficult, especially for the friendly humans in their midst – Sketchy, Original Cindi, and Logan. They couldn’t stay in TC forever anyway because unlike the freaks, they were not immune to the bio-hazardous spills that’d rendered TC toxic. 

Turned out the condemned building and the Biotronics R&D facility inside TC were both part of the old Cale conglomerate. Logan made his new home (temporary hopefully, place was a dump) on the first floor of the outside building, far enough beyond the army’s perimeter but close enough that he could be there when Max needed him.

Personally, Alec was torn. He didn’t want Logan alone, vulnerable, unprotected. But he couldn’t keep him inside TC either. He didn’t want Logan out of his sight, but he didn’t want him in Max’s sight either. Not that it was any of his business where Logan stayed or what he did or who he saw or got seen by...

Lost in his circularly illogical thoughts, Alec walked until he reached Logan’s building. He leaned against the familiar black SUV outfitted for a paraplegic and waited. Ten minutes later, the door opened.

“About time, four-eye…” Alec looked up and the insult died on his lips.

So shocked was he to see Logan’s clean-shaven, exposed – nay – naked jaw… perfectly proportioned and chiseled by the hand of God himself… that his own dropped open and didn’t close until Logan was standing right beside him. 

Logan smirked. “Yes, I shaved. Can we go now?”

Alec blinked. “I didn’t know you owned a razor. Hell, I didn’t know you owned a comb.”

Logan scowled then ran an insanely long hand through his nicely groomed (now ruined) hair. “Let’s go. We’re expected for dinner.”

He dangled the car keys in front of Alec, which Alec took with a big grin. It wasn’t often he got to drive a four-wheeler, and the kid in him couldn’t control his glee at the prospect. 

“So I take it you’re okay with my cover – as your Bling?”

Logan missed a step on his way to the passenger side, but he didn’t respond. His head dropped and his smile disappeared. Alec bit his lip, not sure what he’d said or done wrong, but didn’t push. 

Alec and Logan had never spent so much time together before, with nothing but each other for company. Even without his faux pas (whatever it was), Alec didn’t know if they’d have enough to say to each other. It was going to be a long two-hour ride. 

And the jaw still kept throwing him off. 

Logan looked so different – he was dressed in a nice black evening tux. No tie – that might seem like he was trying too hard. His slacks fitted him well, _for a change_ , probably because he wasn’t wearing the exoskeleton underneath. The shirt was white and pressed under the equally pristine jacket, and tucked neatly in his pants as far as Alec could tell. The glasses were not smudged with greasy fingerprints for a change, but that didn’t stop Alec from still longing to reach out, drag them off the vigilante’s face and clean them with his own steel grey t-shirt. Like they said, you could always improve perfection, or wait, did they say the opposite? 

But, damn, that jawline… no way could it possibly be any more perfect.

“Spit it out.”

“Huh?” Alec said, his control of the steering wheel wavering slightly. 

Logan looked up from his laptop towards Alec. “Whatever it is, get it over with. What – is it the monkey suit? The hair again? You didn’t know my family was loaded? What am I doing here if my family is loaded? What?”

Alec cleared his throat. “No. I just… um,” _wanna kiss you so bad right now,_ “didn’t get a chance to thank you, for your help a-at Jam Pony the other day…”

Logan went back to his research, answering absently, “Well, the exoskeleton did most of it.” 

“O-okay, I should thank the exoskeleton then?” _Lame._

“The exoskeleton is not here right now.”

“Can I leave a message?” _Lamer._

Logan thought so too, and rolled his eyes. “Just drive.”

Alec let out a nervous breath, glad for having been shut up and spared from making a bigger idiot of himself. 

The car revved and jerked annoyingly as Alec struggled to distinguish the hand controls from the regular ones. “Sorry, uh… they took my license for lack of hand-feet coordination.” 

Logan just _looked_ at him, until Alec stopped smiling and concentrated on the road. 

A snorting sound startled him and Alec glanced sideways at Logan again. He found the older man take his glasses off and softly chuckle at the X5, before lowering his eyes back to his laptop.

 _Good Lord._ Without the glasses and the stubble, Logan looked ten years younger. But when he smiled like that, he looked ten years of worldly burdens lighter, ten years of unspeakable horrors unseen, ten years of human tragedies unknown… 

Alec resolved to be the biggest idiot in all of cyberpunk-America all the way to Puget Sound and back. 

*-*-*-*


	3. Chapter 3

**[III]**

It was on Andersen Island that Alec got to touch… really, touch Logan. And then came the rabid obsessive compulsion that refused to let him rest until he’d touched Logan again. And again.

And again. 

So okay, yeah, Alec was aware of how he was starting to objectify a man who was nothing more than a reluctant colleague, not even a friend really. But truth was, his feelings for Logan were quickly spiraling out of control and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do to stop it, them… whatever. 

Ten minutes away from the Cale estate, Logan turned to Alec with a serious look on his face. “Alec, I wasn’t kidding about the old man being seriously off his rocker. So be careful, okay?”

Alec looked at him, getting a little worried by how nervous Logan seemed to be. “Don’t worry, Logan, I got your back.”

Logan smiled at him again. It was a short, tight little smile but it was there. And that was enough. 

The main gate itself was a huge-ass security checkpoint. Three cameras turned towards them and their SUV, covering every angle possible. 

“Every inch of the mansion is monitored. We’ll be watched all the time.”

“Even in the…?”

Logan grimaced, “Yep, there too.”

Alec tried to cheer him up. “It’s only a couple hours – I can hold it.”

That was the plan – stay for dinner, let Logan speak with his uncle and hopefully get what they needed (a big fat check to fund the survival of TC for a while, until they could get back on their own feet), then blaze. If Caleb wasn’t feeling very generous then he better tell them right away so they could be on their way. 

“It’s not a big deal, right? Max still has a bunch of fences on her beck and call. We could always –”

“What – steal valuable American artifacts to sell to China? No, Alec. We can’t think like that,” Logan corrected him sharply. 

Alec didn’t push, because while he had no personal attachment to pre-pulse US of A (hell, he didn’t know it), he trusted Logan to know better. 

494 was trained for execution, pun totally intended, and wasn’t much of a strategist to begin with. That was Max and Logan’s area of expertise. His job was to focus on the task at hand. And in _his_ expert opinion, no matter how today went, there wasn’t a whole lot to worry about. 

He was dead wrong.

After they were buzzed in through the gates, it took them another ten minutes of driving to get to the actual house. Logan had called it a mansion; he might have understated it a bit. 

The wheelchair rested folded neatly in the back. Logan glanced at it again with a world of distaste, obviously not looking forward to using it. Alec wanted to reach out and touch his hand, squeeze it just a little to reassure him. But he knew he couldn’t. 

Hell, they were _reluctant_ colleagues at best, they were not friends. 

Three men in dark suits and an elderly woman greeted them at the door. One of the men reached out and opened Logan’s side of the door. 

The woman tilted her head and smiled at Logan. “Welcome back, LJ!”

LJ? Alec made a note to ask him about it later. 

Instinctively, Logan made to step out of the car. Alec quickly grabbed his nearest arm, tugging at his sleeve. Logan blinked, then, quickly gaining his composure, he smiled.

“Mrs. Nolan! How are you?”

While the two got reacquainted, a second man held Alec’s door open and greeted him. Alec nodded back and stepped out, fixing his black leather jacket that he often paired up with his favorite dark blue (clean for a change) jeans. The sky was starting to darken so he took off his shades and looked around. 

They went through the planned motions. Alec pulled the wheelchair out from the back and Logan let himself be manhandled into it. Alec tried very hard to ignore the mild citrusy base of the cologne that clung to Logan’s neck when he got a little too close. He tried to suppress the thrill he felt, holding Logan around his slender waist, as Alec helped him into the wheelchair. 

He also pretended the hand he left poised on Logan’s knee as he bent down to adjust the footrests was totally unintentional.

One of the men was a valet, apparently, even if Alec could clearly make out the contour of a shoulder holster beneath his jacket. He guessed their vehicle was about to get thoroughly frisked in the parking lot. They were led inside by the woman and the other two suits, Alec pushing Logan’s wheelchair though he didn’t need to. 

The inside of the house, sorry mansion, was more majestic and decadent than Alec could have imagined in his wildest dreams. A part of him seethed at the injustice of it all, even as he was filled with a renewed respect for Logan and the choice he’d made leaving all this behind to do what he did. 

Logan for his part looked as unimpressed by it all as he did with, well, pretty much everything else. He kept up the small talk with Mrs. Nolan who, it turned out, was the housekeeper. Chief Of Staff, as she liked to put it. 

“Your uncle is waiting for you in the library, LJ. How about I take you there? Your… companion can wait here or perhaps freshen up in the guestroom if he likes.”

Alec stopped scoping out the place and spun back towards the woman. Like hell was he leaving Logan’s side and… _companion_? Just the way she said it, with that inflection in her voice, she might as well have raised her hands and made quoty fingers to go with it. 

“Thanks, Mrs. Nolan. Alec? Do you mind?” 

Catching the silent command on Logan’s face, Alec shrugged grudgingly. “Not at all,” then added with a sly grin, “LJ.”

Logan’s eyes half-glared then signaled him to wait right there in the outer… living room? Who knew what these people liked to call their eight hundred different rooms – Regency, Peacock, Solarium, whatever. He just nodded and halted in his spot, letting Mrs. Nolan wheel his ‘companion’ to another room. 

Once alone, Alec started to look around again. To a layman he would seem curious and wide-eyed like a tourist in the Buckingham Palace, strolling past one magnificent piece of fucking history to another. In actuality, he was documenting every piece of surveillance equipment he could spot. He counted twenty-six bug-sized mics and cameras and he hadn’t even seen the library, dining area or the other four floors yet. 

A few minutes later, the door to the library re-opened and two people came out: Logan on one side, and an older man walking beside him. Caleb Cale was in impressive shape for an eighty-year old. He was over six feet tall and still possessed a spine as straight as a man less than half his age. His hair was thin and all white, his lips were drawn into a thin line, and there was a sharp glint in his eyes uncharacteristic of a man his age. 

Alec understood why Logan had opted for the monkey suit – Caleb Cale was one hell of a sharp dresser. 

“And you must be Alec McDowell. Thank you for bringing my nephew out to visit us, young man.”

Alec couldn’t help but grin. He’d never been called that, and there was something almost ‘paternal’ about it. It was kind of… novel. Alec shook the extended hand and finally gazed down at Logan, who looked troubled. 

“I hear you are a man of many skills, just like your predecessor. By the way, whatever happened to that other young man, Logan?”

Logan winced a little, just as he had when Alec had mentioned Bling before. “He had to return to New York, Uncle Caleb. Family matters.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” Caleb said, not sounding sorry at all. “But it looks like young McDowell here is a highly capable replacement. Call me old-fashioned but I do appreciate a man with a last name.” 

He smirked at Alec, and Alec had no choice but to politely smile and nod back, completely lost. Logan just looked away, folding his hands in his lap almost demurely. Alec didn’t like that look on his face – he was probably offended for his buddy Bling, which he obviously should be, but he also looked kind of sad… and disturbed. 

“Well, Mrs. Nolan does not like to be kept waiting so… shall we?” 

Caleb nodded at Alec, fully expecting him to take a hold of Logan’s wheelchair like he was a complete invalid. Alec complied, seeing how Logan made no move whatsoever to follow his uncle into the dining hall on his own. 

“You okay?” he whispered, bending over the back of the wheelchair towards Logan. 

The bespectacled man nodded quickly without looking at Alec. “Um, Alec, there might be a change of plans.”

“What?”

“Uncle wants us to stay the weekend.”

In this luxurious hellhole that was making Logan so uncomfortable? 

“What do _you_ want to do?”

Logan sighed. “I want to get out of here, but we might not have a choice. The old man doesn’t get much company up here, so if… staying a couple of days helps us then… y-you don’t mind, do you?”

Alec felt that rabid urge to reach out and touch Logan again. Like maybe just put a hand on his shoulder, give it a little squeeze to let him know that Alec was here, right here. And that he still had his back. 

But they were not friends, they were barely even… ah the hell with it. 

Alec stopped pushing the wheelchair and came around to face Logan. He knelt by him so they could talk in whispers without the recorders catching them. He placed a hand on top of Logan’s left one and gently caressed a couple of just-starting-to-heal knuckles, wondering if he was imagining the slight shudders under his touch.

“I’m in if you are. However long it takes. But are you sure you want to do this?” Because there was clearly something off here, Alec just couldn’t quite put a finger on it.

Logan licked his lips and suddenly let out a deep breath. Then he smiled, truly smiled, at Alec. “I’m glad you’re here. Let’s do this.”

That’s all Alec needed to hear. He winked at Logan and stood up, and together they made their way to dinner. 

His fingers itched to touch… at least the bars of Logan’s wheelchair again, just so they could be in the vicinity of Logan. But Alec suppressed the urges and walked beside Logan, who wheeled himself confidently towards their destination.

*-*-*-*


	4. Chapter 4

**[IV]**

And then he discovered the next stage of his escalating obsession. Thanks to the eccentric old man they called Caleb Cale. 

At the dinner table, Caleb was Chatty McChatterson, and with Logan sort-of sulking (or what passed for sulking in his world of polite political correctness) it came down to Alec to entertain the old man. He cracked a couple of jokes that made Caleb throw his head back and laugh. 

A part of Alec actually even felt sorry for the octogenarian. He had no real family left, except Logan, having outlived not just his parents, siblings and wife, but also his own children – a son who lost his life in the Eurasian war in 2013, and a daughter who OD’d couple years later. 

Now in the twilight of his life, he didn’t have anyone for company that he didn’t pay to be here. No wonder he was a little – as Logan put it, although Alec didn’t understand that reference at all – over the cuckoo’s nest.

“So tell me, Mr. McDowell…”

“Please, Sir, call me Alec.”

Caleb smiled, “Only if you call me Caleb.”

Alec grinned, “Deal.”

Caleb sipped his wine. “So Alec, what do you know of this new charity organization my nephew plans to start?”

 _Yikes_. Logan and Alec hadn’t had time to debrief, so he had to be careful what he said. Alec looked at Logan, who was just as taken aback by the fact that it was directed at Alec. Obviously, the old man did not know that Logan moonlighted as a vigilante and he most definitely did not need to know of his associations with transgenics.

Their eyes met and Logan shook his head subtly. 

Alec swallowed and sat back. “I think, Caleb, that Logan is the best person to answer that question. I’m just his caregiver, really.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Caleb responded, the hint of a smirk playing on the edge of his lips. “My nephew speaks highly of you. He _trusts_ you. And LJ does not easily trust too many people. Dare I say, he gets that from my side of the family.”

Alec just smiled, chancing a quick glance over at Logan who’d gone back to studiously admiring his garden salad. 

“Let me be honest with you, Alec,” Caleb began, leaning forward a little. “I’m skeptical. I once put my faith in research foundations who claimed to be on the verge of performing miracles with genetics, but to this date they have nothing to show for it.”

Alec had to stop himself from scoffing visibly at that. 

“My wife struggled with cancer for many years until she finally died of it. Every year I donated a million dollars to cancer research and hoped, no, prayed for a cure that did not come. Instead, it has recently come to light that all our money got directed to this rogue military organization called Manticore, and for what? Creating dangerous, super-powered freaks? Breeding mutant assassins and letting them lose to run amok?”

Logan and Alec stayed quiet. What could they possibly say?

“And now my nephew, I fear, is on the verge of making the same mistake. He wants to save lives, and eliminate disease – a noble intention of course. But does it have to be genetic research, LJ? How can you trust these people? How do you know they’re not just another Manticore in the making? Like we don’t have enough of a mutant menace to deal with already?”

Crap, obviously Logan hadn’t known of his uncle’s strong aversion to genetics or he would have built a different business plan. Although, from whatever little conversation they’d had so far, there didn’t seem much that Caleb was _not_ averse to.

“You really think I will let anyone deceive you again, Uncle?” Logan asked, keeping his voice pointed and accusatory. 

Caleb sighed. “No, son, I fear you will _be_ deceived. Let’s be honest, you haven’t exactly demonstrated any _real_ knack for business to speak of. You walked away from every opportunity ever provided to you…”

Alec ground his teeth. So this was what Logan’s family thought of him – a loser who lived off his parents’ legacy without adding to it? 

Logan was obviously used to the barbed insults by now. “All I’m asking for is a loan, one I will repay with full interest!”

“It’s not about the money, LJ, I have more than I know what to do with and you know that. I just refuse to be taken advantage of! Not again!”

The tempers had started to rise, and yet Alec felt the need to defend Logan. “With all due respect, Caleb, I can understand your skepticism after what you’ve been through. But this is Logan we’re talking about. He’s the most cautious and meticulous guy I’ve ever known. Surely you can trust your own nephew?”

Caleb looked at Logan, an eerie glimmer filming his pupils. “Can I?”

They were interrupted by the arrival of the entrees. Logan looked across the table at Alec, frustrated already. Alec lightly shrugged, they’d tried. And at least there was an upside – they didn’t have to stay in this creepy place any longer and he could get Logan out of here ASAP. 

Alec admired the perfect piece of prime rib with madeira sauce placed before him and for the next few minutes conveniently forgot everything else. It was hands down the absolute best thing he’d ever tasted in all his life. He sipped from his goblet of wine (also a first – he’d never had red wine before) and nearly moaned with pleasure, actually he did, until Logan stared him into silence. 

He was almost halfway through the luscious piece of meat on his plate when the shit started its ascent to the fan. 

Logan coughed, lightly at first, then a little louder. Alec looked up frowning, waiting for it to pass on its own. But then suddenly he was choking. 

“Logan?”

Alec dropped his steak knife and ran to the other side of the table. Caleb stood up quickly too, calling for security and Mrs. Nolan. 

Logan’s face was red as he continued to choke. Alec came over just in time to catch Logan as he toppled off his wheelchair. He pulled the gasping man away from all furniture and laid him on the floor, his upper torso resting against Alec’s chest as he knelt behind Logan. He put one arm around the heaving chest and thumped his back. 

“Hey, hey… what’s happening?”

He was just about getting ready to attempt the Heimlich maneuver when Logan coughed again and rasped, “Pepper…”

“He’s allergic, his throat is closing up,” Caleb explained and then screamed again. “Mrs. Nolan!” 

The old woman and a couple of suits came running out. She had a couple of injections in one hand. 

“Wait, what’s in that?” Alec demanded, pulling a still coughing and convulsing Logan protectively to himself, raising one hand up to not let anyone close. 

“Antihistamines, please, it’ll only take a minute,” Mrs. Nolan almost pleaded. Alec had no choice but to believe her. 

He continued to hold Logan, pulling his head back to rest on his shoulder as the housekeeper knelt beside them to administer the injection. Logan was trembling, unable to breathe and his eyes were tearing up with the terrible sensation of choking caused by the peppers. 

Alec took his glasses off and put them aside, then gently wiped the tears away. He stroked Logan’s hair and lightly rubbed at his throat, not sure if it could ease his breathing, but needing to touch Logan and make that horrible wheezing stop anyway he could. 

“You’re okay, you’re okay…” he assured Logan, more for his own benefit, he suspected. 

Meanwhile the medicine started to take hold and Logan went limp in Alec’s arms, no longer feeling like he was choking. It took another few seconds before the swelling in his throat receded enough to let him breathe easily. But the attack had been strong enough to zap him of all his energy. Alec found himself settling down on the carpeted floor, taking Logan with him. They sat like that, back to chest, Alec continuing to gently caress Logan’s sternum without realizing he was doing it. 

A moment’s peace and Alec realized how fast his heart had been racing too. He’d come so close to failing this mission – as simple as it was supposed to be. All he had to do was keep Logan safe, for Max, for his friends… for Alec himself. What good was his genetic superiority if he couldn’t even do so much?

His arms tightened around Logan unconsciously and he pressed one side of his face against Logan’s, trying very hard not to burst into tears. 

“I’m sorry, dearest nephew.” a voice mumbled beside them a few minutes later. Logan tensed up in Alec’s arms as he looked up into his uncle’s face. 

“You did that on purpose,” he whispered. And it was not a question. The guilt-ridden look on the housekeeper’s face confirmed as much.

Alec frowned, rage setting his teeth on edge as he looked up at the old man. All his sympathies evaporated in that instant. In a flash, he reached behind his back under his jacket and whipped out a .32 Colt, aiming it right between Caleb’s eyes.

“What the fuck’s going on here, Caleb?!?”

The two suits immediately drew out their own guns and pointed them at Alec. 

“Stop!” cried Caleb, “Back off, you fools! It’s him, it’s really him!” 

Alec waited for the men to put their guns away but didn’t holster his own, still not trusting anyone. 

“It’s okay, Alec,” Logan whispered, touching the X5’s arm until he relented and lowered his weapon.

Caleb came closer. “I’m sorry, LJ. I had to be sure. Surely you understand that.”

Logan made to sit up without support but couldn’t make it. “Who did you think I was, Uncle?”

“You live in Seattle, son. They’re manufacturing genetic clones down there! I might live like a recluse but I keep up.” Caleb said, as if that explained it all. The crazed glint in those age-old eyes was back. “One can never be too sure these days.”

 _Oh. Man._

Alec wanted to laugh, really, just about as much as he wanted to pummel something. He didn’t know who he felt sorrier for – poor Logan for falling prey to his paranoid uncle’s schemes, or Caleb for being completely oblivious to the fact that he _was_ , in fact, in the presence of his worst nightmare – an actual, honest-to-god genetic clone. 

“I did my homework, son. Manticore let loose a whole breed of clones out in this world to do their dirty bidding – assassinations, robbery, espionage. And they engineer their clones to perfection you know – take away all their flaws including diseases and allergies. It was the only way I could be sure…” 

Logan just sighed in resignation (not anger, which surprised Alec) and leaned back against his escort’s shoulder. Alec rejoiced a little, but this was so not the time. He put his gun back in its place, and brought his now free arm back around Logan’s chest.

“Why didn’t you just ask him questions only the real Logan could know? Like private details about your relationship with him, shared memories and such?”

“He tried,” Logan supplied, still heaving against Alec. “But he just doesn’t have enough to go by.”

Of course. Alec didn’t know much about families, but he knew a dysfunctional relationship when he saw one. 

“Okay, so… if Logan had actually died from you _poisoning_ him, it’s not like it’d be a terrible loss or anything.”

The look on Caleb’s face was precious, but the glare Logan fixed him with was not. Alec just shrugged; Max had given him his name for a reason. 

Then Logan started to lightly fidget. Alec loosened his grip but only a little. Disoriented as he was, Logan probably would have tried to stand even and blown his cover, if Alec was not still holding him down. 

“We’re done here. Alec, I’d like to leave now,” Logan said, his voice breathless and rushed and… a little pained?

Mrs. Nolan heard it too. “Oh dear, are you getting the hives again, LJ?”

Logan winced and glared up at the housekeeper, unintentionally trying to reach his back which was clearly starting to itch. 

Alec tried not to laugh. 

“You need a second shot? Of course, you always do…”

“No! No more shots, they knock me out. I just… Alec, I’d like to go home now,” Logan practically begged with his eyes, “…please.”

Alec would have done as he wished, but Caleb stepped forward again. “Son, please forgive me for what I had to do. Please just… stay. Mrs. Nolan, please show these gentlemen to their bedroom. I cannot let you go like this.”

Logan was about to protest again when Alec interrupted him. “It’s okay. A little while longer won’t hurt.”

_I’ll make sure of that._

He was starting to see the sweat break out on the man’s forehead and the shakes racking him from head to toe. If he was really getting the hives, Alec wanted to get him some help right now. Caleb might be bat-shit crazy, but Alec doubted he would attempt to kill Logan, not twice in one night. And they could jet anytime they wanted, as soon as Logan felt up to it.

One of the suits set the wheelchair back upright and together with Alec helped Logan into it, who continued to grimace in obvious discomfort and/or pain. 

“You will find everything you need in your room, as always,” Caleb said as Alec started to wheel Logan out, following the housekeeper ahead of them. 

“Please take good care of my nephew, Mr. McDowell!” he called behind them. Alec barely stopped himself from flipping the old man off. 

The last few seconds of this conversation struck him as incredibly strange and something he should be concerned about. But his mental faculties must have been compromised by the damn wine because for the life of him he couldn’t figure out what.

There was an elevator to go up to the second floor and that’s when it struck him. Mrs. Nolan was leading the two of them, Alec and Logan, to their bedroom. Singular; not plural. They had been given one bedroom. And it got even worse when they stepped inside – the room had one bed. A single, solitary, king-sized bed. 

Alec frowned, his mouth open in a confused ‘O’ once again until his eyes landed on Mrs. Nolan. She was smiling coyly, like she knew something she wasn’t supposed to, something he obviously didn’t.

“Call me if you need anything. I’ll leave you two to it, then. I really am sorry, LJ. You know how your uncle gets when he has an idea. I tried to talk him out of it, really I did… but…”

She stopped when she saw Logan wasn’t really listening. Not because he was angry, but because his discomfort was now growing by leaps and bounds. Abruptly she shut up and stepped out, closing the door behind her. Alec raised a finger, thinking maybe he should stop her, but for what he wasn’t sure. 

Then Logan whimpered, and Alec instantly forgot everything else. 

Logan was looking up through slanted eyes at a corner up in the ceiling of their stately bedroom. Alec didn’t need to follow his line of sight to know what Logan wanted him to know – cameras. 

Damn. That would explain why Logan hadn’t jumped right out of his wheelchair already. He started pulling off his jacket, fidgeting almost violently, trying to get to the itch in the center of his back. It made Alec want to chuckle again.

“Oh you think this is funny, huh? Get over here and help me.” 

It was almost like Logan had read his mind. The transgenic quickly came forward, kneeling beside Logan. “What do you need?”

“There’s a jar of lotion in the bathroom cabinet.”

Alec ran to the said bathroom, finding a white crystal jar where it was expected to be. By the time he came back out, Logan had ‘pulled himself up’ on the bed and shrugged out of his shirt and under-shirt, socks and shoes. Alec gulped, his steps slowing on his way to the bed. He’d fantasized about a shirtless Logan for months. But this… this was not how he’d expected it to come about. 

“Uh, where…?” 

“Everywhere,” was the miserable reply. 

Logan’s face and neck looked sunburn-red, and it was hard to tell how much of it was the hives and how much just Logan blushing thanks to the situation. 

“Here, let me.” Alec offered before he could stop himself. He sat beside Logan on the edge of the bed and squeezed out some gel on his just washed hands. Until an hour ago, Alec wasn’t sure he was even allowed to touch Logan’s hand.

Logan seemed nothing but grateful as he pointed at his throat, so Alec concentrated on coating the long column of his neck that was as red as a beetroot.

“Face?”

“Uh, no, face is fine.”

 _So that’s the blush part then._ It took all of Alec’s willpower to not smile at that. Then Logan fidgeted again. 

“How did you get pepper on your back?”

“It just… spreads. Goddamnit.”

“Turn over then.”

Logan hesitated. “Alec,” he whispered lowly, pulling the younger man close enough so they couldn’t be heard. “It’s okay. You don’t have to,” he said, eyes lowered, unable to meet his. 

Alec couldn’t help but smile. This was the moment in which he found a name for this new stage of his escalating obsession. Thanks to the eccentric old man they called Caleb Cale, Alec knew how much he enjoyed – and why he’d never, ever, _ever_ tire of – taking care of Logan. 

*-*-*-*


	5. Chapter 5

**[V]**

Alec shifted closer to the other man, silently but firmly communicating his intent. “Hey, I got your back, remember?”

Logan swallowed visibly but did not look up. 

“Seriously, I got your back. Turn over.”

Logan did not share his amusement for the double entendre and scowled but did as asked. He lay down on his stomach and turned his face away from Alec. Alec didn’t mind, he might have done the same thing if their places were swapped. 

The room was dimly lit by just one antique Tiffany-style floor lamp not too far from the bed, enough to cast a soft golden tinge on Logan’s newly exposed skin. Gold was a great color on him, Alec decided, and didn’t bother to switch on any more lights. 

With as much restraint as he could muster, Alec applied the lotion to Logan’s heaving back. He worked the expanse of all that skin from the base of his neck to his waist. Even the moles and blemishes added to the man’s beauty instead of detracting from it. 

As he massaged the healing gel into the irritated skin, he could practically feel the tension seep out of Logan’s body. Alec lost track of how long he sat there, leaning over Logan, struggling to stay within bounds of propriety even as he let his fingers casually dip ever so slightly into places that he shouldn’t be allowed into. 

At last, he mustered up enough courage to step it up a notch, or at least, try. “Logan, you awake?”

The other man had been so still, he might as well have drifted off. But Logan nodded subtly, blinking so Alec could see his long eyelashes move. 

“Maybe you should take your pants off, just to check if… it’s all good down there?”

He fully expected to be shoved off the bed and cursed at with the choicest words in Logan’s vocabulary. Instead, there was silence for a whole minute. Then… 

Logan slowly undid his own pants, and mutely went back to lying still; his hands back at his sides. 

Alec gulped hard, seeing but not believing what’d just happened. With a fluttering heart and trembling fingers, he reached for the fabric of the black slacks. Slowly, carefully, he drew them down the swell of Logan’s ass, along with the black brief-boxers. 

The sight took his breath away. Despite the couple of red bumps and blotches that had to be painful. He felt like a horrible person for blooming an erection at a time that was so not appropriate for it. Steeling his heart and mind (and nearly convincing himself to keep his eyes shut before remembering he was only a super-soldier, not a frikkin’ saint) he started to rub more lotion into Logan’s exposed butt. 

The older man shuddered, hard. One fist made its way up to his mouth as if trying to muffle the sounds escaping his mouth. Alec held his breath, hoping… but not yet daring to voice it. Instead he focused on making Logan feel good, not just treating the sore spots but sweeping across the entirety of his backside. 

That’s when he heard Logan moan. 

Alec had to pull his hand away for a second or three to get _himself_ back under control and avoid making a premature mess inside his own pants. Only when Logan started to squirm did he bring his hand back, stroking and fondling the delicious curves to his heart’s content. The squirming stilled. 

_Oh yeah_ , there was no doubt Logan was enjoying it too. 

In his reverie, Logan had moved his legs to cross them at the ankles, curling his toes. Alec had no idea if crazy Caleb and his cronies were watching but Logan seemed past the point of caring. Alec, however, remembered they still had a mission to complete and couldn’t afford to blow their cover yet. 

Besides, who knew what Caleb would do to Logan if he found out his nephew could walk thanks to Manticore technology. 

Casually, he shifted and positioned himself in a way that his body shielded Logan’s body from the camera. And then he reached over and pulled Logan’s long legs apart. 

Logan gasped audibly. “Alec…” he pleaded, but did not make any protests or moves to get away. 

“Shh,” Alec hushed him, easily peeling the rest of Logan’s pants from his legs and throwing them to the floor. “You’re okay,” he whispered throughout, “you’re okay.”

Quickly he checked for any more hives and was glad to find none. Nevertheless he took some more gel on his fingers and worked it into the back of the slender thighs, enjoying the feel of the toned sinews in his hand. 

Logan twitched and moaned again. 

“Don’t move,” Alec whispered bending close to his ear. “Remember to stay still.”

Logan complied, at least he tried to. “Do something,” he begged, growing increasingly frustrated by the light fleeting touches. “Anything… please…”

Alec didn’t wait for any more signs. Quietly, carefully, he coated a couple of fingers with the cool liquid and then parted Logan’s cheeks. The man flinched violently, but stayed silent otherwise. Alec caressed the length of the newly exposed crack, circling the little opening a couple of times before finally, _finally_ , pushing a finger in. 

Logan whimpered, muffled the rest of his sounds in his pillow and moved a hand down to his groin. 

“Shh…” Alec soothed him unconsciously, putting his left hand in the middle of his back as he moved his finger in and out, massaging the tight passage. Minutes later, he added a second, then a third, pistoning the opening with a gentle, rhythmic motion. 

Soon enough, gentle wasn’t enough for Logan, and he started to arch up into Alec’s fingers, trying to pull more of the X5 inside of him. 

Alec curled up his fingers, seeking the pleasure spot to make Logan moan louder. And when he succeeded, Alec moaned with him. Before long, he found himself straddling Logan, applying pressure with his left hand to the center of Logan’s wriggling back as he continued to finger-fuck the gorgeous ass, watching it rise and fall like a desperate wave in a shameless attempt to get his cock some much needed friction. 

Logan Cale, the strong silent type, was frantically rutting into the bed, mewling and cursing and whimpering for all he was worth… and all this despite knowing very, very well that they were quite possibly being watched by a perverted old man… 

Just when Alec thought Logan couldn’t possibly look any hotter, Logan drew a loud, pained gasp and his spine went taut. Alec dug his fingers right against the gland inside, for good measure, and didn’t let up until Logan’s eyes had rolled up in his head and he was climaxing with a desperate, soundless, scream. 

Fuck was that hot. But now Alec needed more. A whole lot more. 

“God damn it all to hell…” Alec hissed and before Logan could ask what was wrong, he’d pulled off his leather jacket and had the Colt gripped in both his hands. The silencer was on it too. 

Logan craned his neck up groggily just in time to watch Alec discharge the weapon into one corner of the high domed ceiling. Instinctively, the naked man covered his head but he needn’t have worried. The shot had been precise. Bits of cement debris petered down to the carpet four yards away from the bed. 

Logan sighed and shook his head. “My uncle is not going to be happy about that.”

“Yeah well, give him a discount if he ever gets around to dishing out the dough. I don’t fucking care.”

They looked, really looked into each other’s eyes for what was probably the first time since they’d entered this room. And suddenly the gravity of the situation (of what they’d just done) started to sink in. 

Alec gulped, forcing his eyes to stay on Logan’s even though he was acutely and painfully aware of the rest of his gorgeously naked body. He wanted nothing more than to rake it ravenously with his eyes, his hands… he longed to possess it, head to toe, ravish it with his still aching cock…

“What are you waiting for?” Logan whispered, once again in his freaky little way, managing to read Alec’s mind. 

Alec blinked, still frozen in place, until Logan hiked one eyebrow. “Seriously Alec, before I change my mind…”

“No! No, no, no…” Alec was up on his feet and rapidly tugging his own clothes off. Logan smirked and turned to his side, propping his head up on one elbow to watch Alec undress. 

Alec knew he was hot. It was part of the genetic cocktail for all X5s, so it wasn’t like a matter of personal achievement or pride or anything. It just was what it was, period. And yet, something about Logan fixing him with those intense green eyes while he stripped made him feel like he’d never felt before… beautiful, proud… _nervous_. 

Logan took his time, his eyes narrowed into little slits as he checked Alec out once he was completely naked. 

The younger man couldn’t help but smirk, “Like what you see?”

“Not sure. Don’t have my glasses.”

Alec didn’t know if he should chuckle or be offended. Logan laughed for him instead and shifted to make space in the bed. Forgetting everything else, Alec went back to the bed and fell into the open arms waiting for him. 

Once again the citrusy base of Logan’s cologne hit him in the back of his throat, seeped into his very soul. It was subtle but comforting and Alec just had to bury his face in the crook of the older man’s neck. Logan was cooler to the touch, and just a little slick with all that lotion on his skin, but the strength of his arms as he brought them around Alec kept him in place. 

As if there was anywhere else in all universe he could possibly want to be. 

“So exactly what were you planning to do to me, again?”

Alec looked up into Logan’s face, his unshielded eyes. They looked just a little wary, just a tad anxious but nothing about his body language indicated distress or hesitation of any kind. And that was good enough for Alec. 

“I was hoping to kiss you, for starters.”

“Well, then, maybe you should.”

Alec led Logan to lie back on the bed and covered him with his own muscled frame. Then their lips touched, and the rest of the world and everything in it ceased to exist. 

*-*-*-*


	6. Chapter 6

**[VI]**

In retrospect, it was the eyes that caught his… well, eye, first. 

Maybe it was that time in Manticore after Max escaped, and they ran a bunch of old Eyes Only broadcasts to get him debriefed on his next target. Maybe it was the first time he met Logan, watched him writhe on the floor as the virus took hold and started to kill him. Even in pain as they were, or maybe because of it, Alec remembered perversely thinking – _Hello there, pretty eyes._

Or maybe it was that night at Crash, the one game of pool permanently imprinted on his memory. Not just because Logan had killed him – Alec, who’d never ever been defeated in any game of any sort before or after – but because for a few rare minutes Logan had let his guard down. Because he’d actually let Alec get close… close enough to notice how Logan’s eyes changed colors, how the sea-green solidified into a determined steel grey by day, and melted into warm liquid gold by night.

And now here he was, just before the break of dawn… turned on his side to keep a steady watch on his sleeping companion, waiting to see what color those eyes were going to be at this hour.

They’d had sex twice last night. It was probably too early to call it making love, Alec thought, probably. Logan, as it turned out, was a careful and patient lover, even if just a little unsure of himself. In contrast, Alec was all passion and adventure and golden retriever enthusiasm, not unlike his everyday self. Difference was, Logan hadn’t rolled his eyes or ignored his attention-seeking tactics in bed. Instead he’d laughed and grabbed Alec by the ears to pull the younger man closer to himself. 

Alec smiled at the memories, planting a soft kiss into Logan’s nearest shoulder. That’s when Logan stirred. He let lose a deep, can’t-believe-it’s-morning-already sigh, and then his insanely long eyelashes fluttered. He brought up a fist to rub at his eyes, and then squinted at the face hovering beside him. He started to smile at first, but then stopped. 

He might as well have stopped Alec’s heart instead. 

“What time is it?”

Alec swallowed his disappointment long enough to look at his watch and respond, “Just after six.”

“Did you sleep?”

He was probably wondering how long Alec had been acting like a psycho person and watching him sleep. Alec gulped again and shifted on the bed to lie on his back, a good distance away from Logan.

“I just woke up myself.”

What the hell had he expected? For Logan to wake up and smile like a fucking bride the morning after his wedding night and turn into Alec’s arms and call him sweetheart and profess his undying love to him forever and ever? That kind of thing only happened in the movies, so he’d heard. Or to people like Max. 

Not to loser misfits like X5-494.

Logan looked away, his eyes sweeping across the room to take in their surroundings. Alec could practically hear the human’s pulse racing away while his own had receded to a depressingly slow ebb. 

“Did you want to use the bathroom first?”

Alec didn’t respond. He just lay there for a few seconds in dead silence until Logan started to fidget. At last he decided to put the cyber-hero out of his misery and abruptly slid out of bed. The first thing he did was pick up his still holstered gun from the floor. That made Logan sit up, and Alec smirk. Gathering his clothes up under the other arm, he stalked off, stark naked. 

If Logan followed him with his eyes, Alec pretended not to care. And if Logan heard the muted pop as Alec blew the bathroom bugs out, he didn’t react either. 

Fifteen minutes later he stepped back out, fully dressed and ready to get the hell out of Puget Sound. Logan was as awkward as ever as he held a bed sheet wrapped around his naked torso and slipped past Alec to get into the bathroom. Alec tried to ignore the heartache and concentrated on the task at hand. 

To be fair, it wasn’t Logan’s fault that Alec wanted it to be more than a one-night stand. He’d given the guy no indications of his ongoing crush whatsoever. And what was wrong with Logan wanting just a one-night deal anyway? Guy, girl, human, mermaid… he’d done it all himself and moved on the next day without losing any sleep. Why in hell shouldn’t Logan?

At seven AM, Alec was slumped in the sofa chair by the bay windows, sulking in his own company and getting hungrier by the minute, when the bathroom door opened. Alec turned towards the other man and tried to make his voice sound as normal (unaffected, indifferent, not heartbroken at all) as possible. 

“Hey, what took you so lo– ” 

His question was answered when he caught sight of a thin bloody slice on that perfect chiseled jawline. It was just a nick, one anyone could get in a split-second of distraction. And yet, for some insanely possessive reason, Alec wanted to smack that vigilante right across the face. 

“Why try shaving when you don’t have your glasses, you dork?”

Logan scowled at him. “Maybe I was trying to stay away just a little longer from you.”

Alec’s jaw clenched. “And here I thought at least you’d buy me breakfast.”

Logan looked away. “Look, what happened last night, I…”

“You mean what happened two times last night? Three for you?”

Logan’s freshly shaved cheeks turned a bright crimson but his mouth stayed open, like waiting for some kind of inspiration to strike. But Alec didn’t want to hear one of his own lame-ass excuses (‘it’s not you, it’s me’) thrown back in his face. 

He stood up and cut Logan off very, very pointedly. “Save it. I thought you wanted to get out of here. Ready to roll?”

Logan sighed, before throwing a disgusted look at the wheelchair sitting in one corner of the room. “I think we should give it one more try.”

“You kidding? You want Old Looney Tunes to dose you up with sodium pentothal this time?”

“We don’t have a choice,” Logan rasped in that soft, gravelly voice of his. 

Of course, Alec surmised. Logan was here for one reason and one reason alone – Max. In his half-drunk, half medically sedated state, he might have let Alec fuck the big Jesus out of him for temporary relief. But come morning, both his head and his heart went right back to where they belonged. 

About time Alec shipped his heart off someplace else too, like to Siberia, because Logan sure as hell didn’t want it. 

He strode towards the door, “Let’s go. I might just get that free breakfast after all.”

Logan was dressed in a fresh set of clothes – a maroon full-sleeved sweater and black jeans – apparently he still had a wardrobe in this bedroom. Alec had to make do with the same ones he wore last night, but he couldn’t care less. 

He didn’t understand why people always assumed him to be the vain one – apparently there was something about his face that was incredibly symmetrical or whatever, who the hell knew. In truth, Alec never cared much for what he looked like, what he was dressed in. And maybe therein lay the paradox – he didn’t care because he simply never needed to. 

Logan was different but only slightly – he didn’t care _period_. He was only keeping up appearances for the sake of this mission. Nothing mattered more than the mission, Alec reminded himself bitterly, and focused on putting one foot ahead of the other while Logan rolled his wheelchair beside him. 

Back on the ground floor, Mrs. Nolan bent to greet Logan with a hug and a whole lot of apologetic cooing that Logan had no patience for. So Alec left him with her, much to Logan’s chagrin, and raided the breakfast buffet. 

“Is that caviar on an omelet… real caviar?” 

“Imported all the way from Canada,” came the proud reply (as if Canada was not less than two hours away) from a voice decidedly deeper and more masculine than Mrs. Nolan. 

Alec turned to face Caleb, who smiled at him like everything was hunky dory. Obviously the ‘let’s pretend last night never happened’ gene ran in the Cale family. 

“LJ,” Caleb turned to his nephew. “I thought we might talk about your business plan this morning after breakfast.”

Two heartbeats jumped in the room. Alec reminded himself not to get too excited; the old man hadn’t signed anything yet. Logan was thinking the same thing, judging from the tightness of his smile. 

“I’d love to, Uncle Caleb. Thank you for hearing me out.”

“Thank me later. Come on; let’s put some meat on your bones!” He dragged Logan’s wheelchair closer to the dining table where Alec had already made himself comfortable. “Although I will say you look healthier compared to the last time you came up here.”

“Thanks…” 

“I suppose we have young Alec to thank for it?” Caleb winked at Alec in a way the X5 found vaguely violating. 

“Not really,” Alec spoke with his mouth full, swallowing a piece of what was called ‘waffle’ quickly. “It’s really just… the miracle of science…” 

Logan glared at him and Alec rolled his eyes. He couldn’t obviously say – _your nephew is a transgenic blood junkie, that’s how he manages to look so sprightly._ , could he?

“You’re just being modest,” Caleb declared dismissively. He was seated at the head of the table flanked by Alec and Logan on either side. Using that position to his advantage, he put one hand on Alec’s shoulder and the other on Logan’s and squeezed. 

“You two don’t have to pretend here under my roof, sons. I know how important it is to have someone to share your life with, and how much it hurts when that person is cruelly taken away from you…”

Sonofabitch there it was – confirmed by the big guy himself. The whole household expected them to be a couple from the get-go – hence the single room and one bed. Add to that Logan’s obvious discomfort every time Bling’s name came up – Alec might not be the smartest tack in the box but he could put two and two together. 

“You know, my wife and I were together for fifty-five years! We met when we were fifteen, in high school…”

Alec ignored Caleb’s nostalgic rambling and concentrated on filling that hole in his heart with the sumptuous food. At least Logan wasn’t denying it. He could have set the record straight yesterday but didn’t get a chance to, and obviously he couldn’t anymore, not after having spent the night with Alec without a token of protest for the lodging arrangements.

Logan’s face was flushed as he tried to ignore his uncle’s ramblings too. After a while he decided he needed to get something in his stomach, before his big presentation to the holder of the purse strings here. He loaded his plate with a piece of toast, some fruit and scrambled eggs. Alec kept an eye (alright so he couldn’t help it) and was right on the ball when Logan absently reached for the salt shaker for his eggs, and picked up the pepper shaker instead.

Alec’s hand swept out in a flash and grasped Logan’s wrist before it could descend to his plate. Logan looked up at him in question. 

“We really gotta find you your glasses,” Alec huffed. 

_Even if they hide your pretty, pretty eyes._

Caleb smiled at the two of them, staring at each other from across the table. Seconds passed, or maybe an eternity before they broke eye contact and Alec was not the first to do it. Logan blinked, his face turning redder by the minute. Any more crimson and Mrs. Nolan would think he was getting the hives again. 

Alec smirked softly. This might actually turn out to be fun. Already his mind was reeling with all the many ways he could torment Logan with _this_ … whatever _this_ was between them. 

Logan let go of the shaker, dropping it to the table with a thud. He looked up into Alec’s face again, and this time he had the audacity to smile. “You can let go now.”

Alec loosened his grip and for a second his hand hovered mid-air, feeling inexplicably empty. At least he’d gotten Logan to look straight _at_ him for the first time since he woke up this morning. 

“Mr. Logan, Sir,” one of the suits was at his side. “Your glasses, Sir. You dropped them last night.”

Logan thanked him profusely, but Alec fantasized killing the suit twelve different ways from Sunday, and one more for good measure. 

*-*-*-*


	7. Chapter 7

**[VII]**

There was something about Logan’s voice – something versatile and… shape-shifting about it. Usually it was even-keeled and authoritative, like he meant serious business which he did all the fucking time. But now and then, his voice would dip lower into a pit of hesitation and insecurity, very out of character for the Logan Alec knew. At least, the Logan he _thought_ he knew. 

Of course, he’d also heard that voice all desperate and wanton like a bitch in heat. Alec smirked, that was going to be his favorite Logan-voice forever. Even if last night was the only time he ever heard it. 

“Alright, let’s get to work!” Caleb announced, after finishing this third cup of Jo. Then he turned to Alec. “You’re welcome to join, of course.”

Alec shook his head. He planned to keep his eye on the cronies, still not trusting anyone in this house, “I’m good, thanks, never learned to balance a balance sheet anyway.” 

He looked around, spotting a cozy corner in the living area with a bookshelf, a fifty-inch plasma and an Xbox. “I’ll just hang out here, if you don’t mind.”

Logan didn’t comment; he wasn’t even looking at Alec anymore. Alec tried not to feel hurt and viciously stabbed his fourth helping of bacon with a silver fork. 

“Okay then!” Caleb said and stood up. “Here nephew, let me get you.”

Before Logan could protest, Caleb took the handles and started to wheel him into the library. Alec knew (Max mentioned in passing months ago) how Logan hated being ushered anywhere without his express permission. But right then he bit his lip and just held on to his laptop, looking at the library door anxiously. Clearly he didn’t trust anyone here either.

“Logan,” Alec called out. God help him, he just couldn’t resist. 

Logan turned toward Alec after pausing for a second.

“I’m right here.”

The vigilante swallowed and quickly nodded, before looking away. Alec got up and held the library door open for the Cales to go through. Caleb thanked him for his manners, and neither man noticed the X5 stealthily dropping his fork to the carpeted floor, using it to wedge the door open by just a slit. 

Alec had chosen the perfect spot to set up a lookout. He could watch all entrances to the living area and the library from his spot. He played Call of Duty for a while (it reminded him of one of the battle simulations they ran in Manticore – except that was with real guns and real human targets), but kept it on mute, his superhuman ears focused keenly on the voices floating out from the library. 

“Well, son, I’m impressed. A solid business plan you’ve put together here.”

“Thank you, Uncle. That means a lot to me.”

Alec smirked. Only a perfectionist like Logan would put in so much effort into a ‘front’ charity foundation. Another few minutes went by with Caleb asking more questions and Logan answering them like a total pro.

“Looks good. But I have one more condition before I sign.”

“What’s that?” Logan’s voice was still all business, but just a little tense. 

“I want to see you more often, LJ. I want you to promise me you and Alec will come visit us at least once a month. Please don’t disappear after I sign this?”

 _Oh boy_. Alec swiped a hand across his face. The last thing Logan wanted to do was spend another night, hell, another minute with Alec in the same bedroom. Having to do it once a month would be pure torture (even though, personally, Alec wouldn’t mind it too much).

“You know I’d love to, Uncle, but –”

“You could use the downtime now and then, can’t you? Sure looks like Alec might. Your caregiver looks a little rundown today, doesn’t he?”

Alec pouted. Maybe he should have shaved too…

“How did you two meet anyway? You never told me.”

Logan sighed audibly. “Uh, my doctor recommended him. Look, Uncle, we’ll stay this weekend. And I’ll try to visit you more often, I know I should. But I just want you to know that… Alec and I, well…”

“What is it, nephew?”

Logan stammered. “I don’t want you to… get used to seeing him around, that’s all.”

“But you two look so happy together?”

Alec rolled his eyes. Caleb the clairvoyant. 

“It’s just… uh,” Logan tried. “It won’t last, it’s not meant to.”

“Why’s that?” Caleb continued to intrude, and Logan had no choice but to answer. 

“Because Alec is young… and carefree and there is so much of this world he hasn’t had a chance to see yet. In a lot of ways, he… hasn’t really lived at all.”

“So? You can give him a good life, I can see that you want to.”

“But I can’t, Uncle… I come with way too much baggage. Not to mention a wheelchair, and hospital trips and therapy sessions and physical limitations and… indignities I can barely stand myself. He’s not ready for all of that. H-he shouldn’t have to either.”

Alec strained to hear Logan’s husk of a voice as it kept dropping in volume while Caleb incessantly tapped a pen on a muted surface, like a felt-covered diary or something. 

“I’ll admit he does seem young and kinda cocky…”

“… and fickle, and reckless, and he gets bored easily and that’s all fine, really! Who isn’t like that at his age? But I’m old, and jaded and cynical and in his own words, way more serious than I need to be and…” 

Logan sighed again. It physically hurt Alec to hear that pained exhale of breath. “I need something that lasts forever, like you and Aunt Jenny. But I don’t think he’ll be happy being tied down to me for too long. It just won’t work.”

Alec couldn’t take it anymore. He stood up forcefully, for once not policing his unnatural strength. The antique settee shifted out of its place, alerting a suit to his position. 

“Are you okay, Sir?”

Alec ignored the man and stalked out through the side doors into the grassy lawns beyond. He paced back and forth, processing the words. 

Why was Logan talking like he really was paraplegic? Had he forgotten he was only pretending? And by the way, just because Alec did a good job of staying stocked up on Tryptophan didn’t mean he didn’t know what a handicap was, or what it felt like to live with fucking _indignities_. 

And what did he mean by being old? Barely thirty and Logan thought himself _old_? 

Of course, it was possible Logan was only lying to get his uncle off his back. But Alec knew that voice like he knew the beating of his own heart. The words could be false but Logan couldn’t possibly fake that voice. And something in it had shifted again, like it was back in that dark place of uncertainty and insecurities Alec seldom ever associated with the vigilante. 

“You’re wrong, Logan,” he whispered to no one, letting his eternal optimism wash away all his bitterness from earlier that morning. 

“I’ll make it last, if you let me… I’ll make it last forever.”

*-*-*-*


	8. Chapter 8

**[VIII]**

Call it a weird kink, a freaky fetish or whatever, but Alec had a thing for knees… the bonier the better. 

He loved how the skin stretched over the cap of the joint, the sensitivity of the soft underside that, when tickled, produced the most delicious sounds ever. He loved how he could wrap his long hands all the way around each knee, pull them apart and open his lovers wide, exposed to his eyes and his ministrations…

“Alec?” 

Huh? Alec recovered from his daydream and turned to Caleb. “Sorry, did you say something?”

The old man smiled. “I asked you if you enjoyed the trout, caught them fresh from the lake myself. It’s so beautiful down there, especially at sunrise. I tried teaching LJ how to fish, but he never took to it. He doesn’t like to see them struggle for breath out of water.”

“Always the bleeding heart, our LJ,” Mrs. Nolan supplied as she poured coffee for the three men, right after lunch. “Just like Logan Senior.”

Alec squinted while Logan just crossed his arms and tried not to roll his eyes. 

“My younger brother,” Caleb was kind enough to explain. “Logan was named after him.”

Lunch had been organized outside on the grandiose porch. It was the perfect weather for it – not too hot and not too cold. The sun peeked out from beyond a thin cover of rainclouds. Alec could smell the oncoming storm on the breeze that swept over his face and neck, but he wasn’t worried. He planned to have Logan safely out of here and back home before then. 

“This is nice, huh, Mrs. Nolan?” Caleb said cheerfully to their housekeeper. “A full house! Usually it’s just you and me around here…”

“Oh yes,” she agreed, “It’s always good to have you back, LJ.”

Logan smiled tightly and fidgeted a little but didn’t respond. He was obviously past his socializing capacity for one day. Alec needed to get him away from these two and out of that wheelchair too. At least for a bit, before he got really grumpy and impossible to sleep next to at night.

He cleared his throat. “Hey Caleb, do you mind if I take a stroll? Looks like a nice day for a walk, maybe see this lake you were bragging about.”

“Absolutely! You haven’t seen the grounds behind the house yet, have you? If you go through the forest there’s a short-cut that goes all the way down to the lake. Logan can take you there.”

Logan winced until he realized Alec was looking right at him. The X5 in contrast grinned happily. “Oh, I’d love that so much! Can we, Logan? _Please_?”

Everyone turned their expectant eyes at Logan, who just glowered at Alec, hardly left with a choice after that display of over-excitement now, was he? 

They walked for a bit. Well, Alec walked; Logan struggled with his wheelchair that wouldn’t glide as smoothly over natural ground as it did across the expensive Italian marble inside the mansion. 

“Want me to push?”

“I got it!” Logan snapped, and Alec backed off. 

At the edge of the little forest adjacent to the manicured grounds, Logan finally came to a stop, sweating, exhausted, and ceding defeat.

“Do you really want to go in there?” He asked, half-pleading with Alec not to make him wheelchair through the forest. He’d probably had enough of an upper body workout to last him a year.

Alec chuckled, then without waiting for permission he got behind Logan and started to push him into the thick tree cover. 

“Hey!” Logan protested, though he didn’t have the energy to use any more words.

“Relax,” Alec bent down to whisper into Logan’s ear. “No surveillance beyond the trees. I checked.”

Logan looked up at Alec after a second, and smiled. 

Ten minutes later, Alec sat himself in the wheelchair and watched Logan stride and jump and hop and skip around a small clearing in the middle of the forest, making happy and hugely relieved sounds all the while. 

“Thank you, man. I was cramping up like crazy!” 

“You’re very welcome,” Alec responded brightly. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure!”

“When you’re sitting in this thing, it’s like you forget you’re only pretending to need it.”

The smile on Logan’s face dimmed a little. He dug his hands in his jeans pockets. “What’s the question?”

Alec huffed, ready to give up on getting any straight answers from the man today. 

But Logan seemed to acquiesce just then. “Sorry,” he ran a hand through his already messy hair. “The transfusion will fail again, you know. It always does.”

“Doctors tell you that?”

Logan nodded. “I can feel my body fighting it already. Sooner or later, my stupid immunity will kick in and I’ll be back in the wheelchair, for real. I just don’t want to spend any more time in it than I have to.”

That explained a lot of things he’d heard Logan say earlier in the library. Alec bit his lip and watched Logan rotate his feet and flex his calves, trying to shake off the cramps that were obviously still bothering him. 

“Come here, let me look at that.”

“What?” Logan frowned at Alec, “No, it’s fine. I just need to stretch a bit.”

He started to jump up and down on the spot. Alec laughed and got out of the wheelchair, pulling a blanket from its back-pocket that he’d tucked in there before they left the mansion, along with a few other supplies. 

“Stop being an idiot and get over here,” he said, after spreading the blanket on the ground. 

Logan stood frozen in his spot, a slightly panicked look in his eyes. He couldn’t move even when Alec approached him, but he did try protesting verbally. “Whatever you think you can do, it’s really not necessary. Wh-what are you going to do?”

“Just come,” Alec whispered, taking Logan by a forearm and tugging him towards the blanket. 

He made Logan sit on the soft woolen covering and kneeled before him to take off his shoes and socks. He then stretched the long slender legs out and started with massaging the feet first. Logan flinched, holding himself stiffly, awkwardly. 

“Relax, this will help. You gotta sit in that thing for another day if you want the money, remember?”

Logan groaned, “I feel like I’m whoring myself.”

Alec smirked. “The things you do for love…” 

He meant it to be sarcastic and just went back to rubbing Logan’s feet. He worked the muscles on the left one first, then the right, before moving in closer to get to Logan’s calves. 

“Do you really believe that? You think I’m doing this just for Max?”

Alec looked up at Logan, and swallowed softly. “No, no, I don’t,” and he meant it.

A moment or an eternity passed as the two men gazed into each other’s eyes – looking for answers and maybe assurances. Logan was the first to look away, wincing a little as Alec hit a pressure point just under his right knee. Alec moved in even closer, folding Logan’s right leg and working the knotted muscles slowly and firmly. His hands lingered around the joint, squeezing and rotating it lightly, before starting to make their way down the inside of Logan’s thigh. 

Logan pulled back a little. “A-Alec, I think that’s enough…”

He looked into Logan’s eyes again, stilling his hands but not removing them, resolved not to make a move until he got a sign to do so. God knew he could wait forever for – something… anything… 

He didn’t have to wait long. As if on sudden impulse, Logan grabbed Alec by his jacket collar and pulled him into a crushing kiss. 

Fireworks exploded behind Alec’s eyelids. For a second he just sat there and let Logan taste his lips before forcing them open to slide his tongue within. Logan wrapped his arms around Alec and pulled him closer, not letting him escape. Not like Alec wanted to. When he recovered from his shock, Alec brought his own arms up, placing one hand around Logan’s waist and the other at the back of his head. He took control of the kiss, tongues dueling, teeth biting, and fingernails clawing whatever they could reach until Logan surrendered, letting Alec plunder his mouth completely. 

Gradually, Alec pushed and Logan went until he was flat on his back with the X5 on top of him. They couldn’t stop kissing – it was like Logan had completely abandoned whatever code of morality or loyalty had been holding him back all day. Gods, even when he tried to pull back, Alec wouldn’t let him. 

His superhuman lungs meant the X5 didn’t need to pause for breath and if it weren’t for Logan’s desperate gasping he wouldn’t have let him up for air at all. 

“You’re gonna kill me, aren’t you?” Logan panted, letting his head fall back while Alec took his glasses off and mouthed his jaw, his forehead, his nose, every inch of his throat. 

“Right now, I’m gonna fuck you into the ground,” Alec whispered roughly in Logan’s ear, enjoying the tremors rack the fragile spine. “I’ll fuck you so hard you won’t be able to pretend it didn’t happen again.”

A quiet whimper escaped Logan’s lips but his eyes glazed over with what could only be unbridled lust. He grimaced as Alec roughly pulled Logan’s sweater off his head, then undid his belt and jeans. 

“For the record, I gave up pretending soon after breakfast…”

“Really?”

“How could I, when I had to sit in that goddamned wheelchair on a sore ass all day?”

Alec chuckled loudly before pulling back to look into Logan’s face. He was smiling too. 

Quickly he stripped Logan of his pants and boxers and threw them aside next to his shoes and socks. Alec was glad he’d thought of grabbing the lube along with the blanket, which he now used to prepare Logan. The recipient of his attentions felt some discomfort at first but his face melted with blatant pleasure as Alec added more fingers and more lube to work his sweet spot. 

“You’re so hot like this, Logan, so beautiful when you’re…”

Alec paused, choosing to wrap his lips around Logan’s left nipple instead. 

Logan moaned but managed to form words somehow. “When I’m what… being a slut?”

Alec tugged at his right nipple, making Logan yelp before looking up into his dilated eyes. “When you let yourself be free…”

Logan fixed him with a strangely blank expression. “Just fuck me already,” he hissed. 

And Alec complied.

He palmed Logan’s knees lovingly before hoisting them up over his shoulder and sheathing himself inside the hot, tight channel with an enormous groan of relief. He buried his face in Logan’s neck, and started thrusting, in and out, surrendering to the mind-blowing sensations for the next twenty odd minutes. 

He listened carefully throughout – every time his partner’s breath hitched, every curse, every grunt, every whimper that escaped the proud and indomitable cyber-hero’s mouth against his will. And when they came, they came together – spurring each other’s long-teased and well-earned releases until they were both reduced to boneless messes of quivering, over-sensitized flesh. 

Spent, Alec collapsed to the ground beside Logan. Immediately Logan reached for him, pulling him into his arms and holding him possessively, burying his face in Alec’s neck and even locking his teeth around a chunk of flesh like he really, really, wanted to keep Alec there.

“Hey,” Alec smiled, kissing Logan’s hair. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Logan stilled, as if he realized he’d given something important away. 

“Logan, you think this is all just a one-off sex thing to me, but it’s not. This means more to me than… you know. I’ve wanted you for months…”

Logan looked up at him, “You have?”

Alec smiled sheepishly. “Since the pool game.”

Logan’s eyes went wide before he turned away to lie on his back. He brought his hands up to hide his face, pretending to rub his brows. Alec panicked, not liking that Logan was pulling away from him already.

“Does that bother you?” 

“…”

“Logan, I-I am not asking for much, just… i-it can be like you and Bling!” he blurted desperately.

Logan spun towards him. “What?”

“Look, I-I won’t come in the way of you and… and Max whenever you guys can… you know. In the meantime, Logan, please…”

The vigilante laughed miserably and sat up before pulling his pants back on. “That’s what you think Bling and I were? A stopgap arrangement until I could be with Max?”

Alec sat up too, and shrugged softly. But he didn’t answer, and that was answer enough.

“Alec, I wasn’t with… shit. The truth is – Bling was abusing me.”

It was Alec’s turn to spin around in complete outraged shock. “WHAT?”

Logan was fully clothed again by now, yet he was shivering like he was totally naked. “I trusted him. He was one of the few who knew I was Eyes Only. The first time we hooked up, I was drunk and depressed and Max wasn’t in the picture yet. But after, I turned him down and he didn’t take it so well. Don’t know why, he just got increasingly obsessed and then… he started blackmailing me. Threatened to expose everyone in the Eyes Only network, expose Max to Lydecker…”

Alec could feel his temper rising with every word that left Logan’s mouth, until he had to stand up. He zipped himself up and started to pace to try and work off the agitation and rage building inside him.

“What my uncle saw between me and him, what happened here – Alec, it wasn’t real!” 

That would explain why Logan got so uncomfortable at the very mention of that bastard’s name. Coming to this place with another ‘Bling’ had obviously brought up some painful memories for Logan. _Goddamnit!_ Alec wanted to shoot something, better yet fly to New York and shoot Bling.

“How long did he –?” he couldn’t complete the question.

“Couple months, maybe? As soon as I found something to hold over his head and secure my network, I kicked him out. Shouldn’t have let him have any power over me in the first place but, I don’t know, was in kind of a dark place back then.” 

“I’m going to kill him,” he muttered under his breath, but Logan heard him loud and clear.

The older man looked away and put his glasses back on, then pulled his knees up and wrapped his arms around them. Alec was so busy pacing his anger off he didn’t notice Logan watching him carefully, hesitantly.

“Thank you,” he whispered, the words soft but carrying far enough to make Alec halt.

“For what?” 

“For setting me free,” Logan replied. “I-I haven’t been with anyone since Bling and… I wasn’t sure I ever could again. I mean, I kind of wanted to, b-but I was scared… u-until you.” 

Alec felt a sting behind his eyes but he brushed it aside and came to kneel before Logan once more. He hesitated for a second; then brought his hands up to Logan’s face. If the man wanted to pull away, now would be the time. Logan just leaned forward instead. 

Alec kissed the man tenderly, not wanting to let him go ever again. But there was still one big question that needed an answer. “You still love Max though, right?” 

He tried to make it sound as brave and nonchalant as he could, and failed miserably. 

Logan smiled and brushed a couple strands of stray hair back from Alec’s face. “Part of me will always love her, but the truth is, Max and I… it’ll never work for the same reason that… that you and I will never work, McDowell.”

Alec frowned and pulled back to rest on his haunches. “What’s that?”

Logan sighed and looked down at his knees. He didn’t need to say anything else. Proud man like Logan, obviously he’d hate being treated like an invalid, least of all by the people closest to him. 

Alec bit his lip and took a deep breath. “I know I don’t have a track record of being very trustworthy. But that was then, this is now. And you don’t have to make up your mind right away. Take your time if that’s what it takes for you to trust me. I will say this though, Logan – there are only two things you need to know about the man that I am now.”

Logan looked up at him curiously.

“First – every X5 has a dominant animal personality too, it’s not as obvious as Josh and Mole, but it’s there. So, like Max is feline – you might’ve noticed that, maybe,” he smirked a little sardonically to which Logan on purpose didn’t react at all, and Alec carried on. “Well, I’m sort of a… a wolf.”

He shrugged, even threw up his hands with flair, as if that should say it all. Too bad Logan didn’t catch on as fast as he’d hoped. Alec cleared his throat to try again. 

“What I’m saying is… I never knew what family was, until Max burned Manticore down and set me free. And I spent a year on my own, trying to figure out who I was supposed to be without Manticore… and I was _miserable_ , until I found you guys. You’re… all of you… you made me realize that I-I’m – the kind of guy who needs a pack to belong to. I need something, someone, to be forever loyal to. Like a family. And so you see, I’m not gonna just take off because I-I just can’t… I’m physically incapable… of… goddamnit. Do you… do you know what I’m saying?”

Somewhere in the middle of his rant, Logan had narrowed his eyes and now he was smiling softly. “You were eavesdropping on my conversation with Caleb, weren’t you?”

Alec bit his lip. “No.”

Logan chuckled and shook his head, but there was a light in his eyes that told Alec he understood, and hell, might even approve. “What’s the second?”

“Huh?”

“What’s the other thing I need to know about you?”

“Oh, yeah…” Alec leaned in, close enough that he could whisper in Logan’s ear even though there was no danger of anyone overhearing them in this place. “The second thing you need to know, Logan Cale, is that I don’t care if you’re back in the wheelchair. I’m still gonna fuck you just as hard and just as long, no matter what.”

And that was about as ‘sentimental’ and honest as he could possibly get. But something told him, with Logan, it was going to be enough. 

He felt the trembling return to his beautiful lover’s body, and smiled. Alec planted a quick kiss on Logan’s dumbfounded lips, the softness of it belying the intensity of his words. And then he stood up.

“We should head back. Or the suits might come looking for us.”

Alec turned away to get the wheelchair, using the brief moment to grin widely. He’d actually rendered the almighty Eyes Only completely speechless, not to mention weak in the knees. 

Who woulda thought?

*-*-*-*


	9. Chapter 9

**[IX]**

In the end, it always came down to the heart, didn’t it?

Bleeding heart, they called him. But Alec knew there was more to it than that. He might be the wolf, and Max might be the alpha cat in these parts, but Logan Cale had the heart of a lion. A heart that was fearless and majestic, and genuinely _good_ to a fault. 

Alec didn’t understand how he could be so selfless and generous all the time. How could he have let Bling abuse him for months to protect Max and his contacts? Even now, sitting in that wheelchair was torture but he was doing it for the transgenics, for what he believed was the right thing to do. Hell, he’d shaved.

Alec didn’t think he’d love Logan any less if he didn’t do these things, and even wished he didn’t have to. At the same time, Alec knew he would love Logan all the more precisely because of it.

They spent the rest of the day lounging about. In the evening, they decided to escape for a bit again and visited the ruins of an old chapel that still stood on the other end of the endless property grounds. Where, surrounded by broken stained glass windows and a moss-covered altar, they may or may not have used the blanket and lube again. And Logan may or may not have pleaded mercy from a God he didn’t entirely believe in as Alec sucked his brains out through his dick.

Dinner was a reasonably pleasant affair. Caleb rambled on, sharing more of the Cales’ glorious family history. Once again it fell to Alec to act impressed and chat up the old man like he was genuinely interested in how the Cales discovered oil in Texas back in the early 1900s. 

Logan just squirmed in his seat, probably getting sorer by the minute. It was hot – watching him squirm – so much that Alec had to take his jacket off and place it over his lap. It was also fucking hilarious. Alec grinned at him and Logan just glared, shooting daggers with his eyes. 

“Logan? You asleep?” Alec whispered to the man spooned around him in bed later that night. 

Logan sighed deeply and kissed the back of Alec’s head, “Not anymore. What’s up?” 

Alec picked at the purposely frayed edges of the blanket. There was so much he wanted to say, but didn’t know how. He still didn’t quite know his place in Logan’s life, where it’d be once they returned to Terminal City. All he knew was… he wouldn’t be able to take it if, come morning, Logan went back to pretending like all of this hadn’t just happened.

“Uh, can I borrow a clean shirt for tomorrow?”

Logan snorted, and tightened his arms around Alec. “Sleep, Alec. I’ll be here in the morning, promise.”

Alec let out a short, embarrassed laugh, then closed his eyes and let himself be pulled under. 

Logan kept his promise. Next morning he kissed the soldier awake, in ways more than one, then coyly turned to lie on his stomach and spread his legs for Alec. They showered together, taking longer than usual, and finally emerged from their bedroom just as Mrs. Nolan was getting ready to start hollering at them about breakfast.

“Oh Alec, you look so charming!” She exclaimed, taking in the silver turtleneck pullover and pressed blue jeans that fit him perfectly. They were Logan’s clothes – luckily the men were about the same size.

“Thank you, Mrs. Nolan,” Alec responded with a smile. 

“You should let Logan dress you all the time! He does have great taste.”

Logan snorted and Alec pursed his lips sheepishly. 

“Where is Uncle Caleb?” Logan asked as he rolled himself to the dining table at his usual spot. 

“He had a few calls to make. Work never stops with him, you know, not even on a Sunday.”

By the time the old man emerged from his office, Alec and Logan were almost done. Alec noticed his heartbeat was a little elevated, but Logan beat him to the punch.

“Something wrong, Uncle?”

Caleb sighed and came over to sit beside Logan. He put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. “I’m just a little sad that you will be leaving soon, son. I know you live in Seattle now, and you have a life there and everything. But damn, how I wish I could keep you here forever.”

Logan swallowed and looked a little uncomfortable. “I’m sorry. I know things have been… strained between us but, I’ll try and make up for it. Alec and I will visit you as much as we can.”

Alec nodded his agreement, pleased at how easily the words “Alec and I” came to Logan today. 

An hour later, they were packed and loaded in their SUV, ready to bid farewell to Puget Sound, crazy old Uncle Caleb and his equally eccentric staff. Caleb hugged Logan warmly, and shook Alec’s hand. They gave Mrs. Nolan a kiss each and soon were on their way, a signed copy of the agreement and a big fat check in hand. 

“Mission accomplished?” Alec dared to ask, fifteen minutes after they’d exited the last security checkpoint. 

“Mission accomplished!!” Logan echoed loudly, and they high-fived each other. 

“I should call Max, let her know we’re on our way back.”

He took his cellphone out and made the call. It was picked up after two rings, and even though Logan didn’t put it on speaker, Alec could hear Max on the other end clear as crystal. 

“Hey, we got it.”

 _“Of course you did!”_ Max replied, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. _“Why, did Caleb give you any trouble?”_

Alec smirked and Logan hiked up his eyebrows in amusement. “I’ll fill you in on the details when we get there.”

_“Okay. You sound different.”_

Alec’s smile disappeared. 

“What do you mean?”

A long, uncomfortable pause followed. _“Nothing, I guess. I’m… happy for you, Logan.”_

The two men looked at each other again. 

_“I-I mean, for getting the funds. So, I’ll… see you soon then?”_

“Yep, on our way back now.”

Logan hung up soon after. An uncomfortable silence made the air inside the SUV hard to breathe in. Alec wondered what was going through the other man’s mind. Until a minute ago, Alec was sure he was on his way to become the cyber-hero’s dirty little secret. Now, after talking to Max, the idea seemed kind of… moot. 

“Just so you know – I’m okay with whatever you decide.”

“What?” 

Alec bit his lip. “I meant what I said, before. Take all the time you need. Whatever you wanna do, I’m with you.”

It was several minutes before Logan replied. Even then his voice was barely a whisper, “Thanks.”

Alec looked sideways at him and nodded as reassuringly as he could. Logan did look anxious, and the last thing Alec wanted to do was add to it. He started to reach for Logan’s hand resting casually on the seat by his side. 

He never made it.

They must have used a launcher of some kind because Alec didn’t see the spikes strewn in the middle of the road until it was too late. He braked and swerved simultaneously but knew it was a lost cause. 

“Hang on!” He ordered and hoped Logan obeyed. 

Alec lost control and for a few harrowing seconds the SUV tilted to the right until it was careening on just two tires, on its way to crash into a nearby tree. In the split-second before full impact, he reached down to his boot and pulled out the knife he was going to need seconds later. The collision finally brought the car to a full stop, thrown over on its side with Alec suspended on top, Logan’s side resting on the ground. 

Then the air bags engaged. 

“Logan!” Alec screamed, not being able to see his partner through the bags, not hearing a peep. 

He used the knife to slash through the air bags, both his and Logan’s… and only then did he notice that Logan had been knocked unconscious. 

“Logan? Talk to me, buddy… Logan!” Alec whispered in escalating panic, not just because he was worried how hard Logan might have hit his head but also because he’d noticed the flurry of activity behind the trees on the side of the road. Things were about to get much, much worse. He started to reach for the gun tucked behind in his jeans. 

“HANDS IN THE AIR!!!”

Too late. 

There were about a dozen of them – outfitted in SWAT gear like the team of super-bred freaks back at Jam Pony a few days ago. A cold tremor crawled up his spine at the memories. If these were Familiars, then he and Logan did not stand a chance against them.

“Take it easy, we’re not going anywhere, even if we wanted to…”

Before he could finish, a bunch of them assembled around the SUV and pushed it back upright on all four wheels. Alec winced at the impact; the men now had direct access to Logan as well. That could be both good and bad. 

“Out of the car,” the one who looked like the ring leader ordered. “Drop your weapon out of the window, NOW!”

Alec did as he was told, pausing to safety his weapon before letting it drop. Satisfied, two SWAT guys began to approach him to take him in custody. He didn’t have time to strategize, he needed to act now. 

Suddenly he exploded into action, swatting away his car door like a bug until it flew off and landed twenty feet away, carrying a gun-toting SWAT man away with it. Before another could open fire, Alec threw his entire body weight at him, knocking him unconscious. He fought every man that came within combat-range, evaded at least nine different bullets flying his way. 

It could only have been a few minutes, but to Alec the fight felt like it stretched on for hours. Especially because he didn’t know how Logan was, if he was even alive or… no, the thought threatened to stop him close in his tracks. He couldn’t go there, not right now. 

But that split-second of worried distraction was all the four men standing needed. Alec had snatched and disabled all the guns, but he didn’t notice the high-powered tazer one of them was carrying. Two million volts hit him squarely in the chest, forcing him down on his knees, temporarily paralyzed by the electricity scorching through his nerves.

“Stay down or I will blow your brains out! And your boyfriend’s too!”

Alec desperately gasped for breath but slowly raised his hands over his head. He looked up into the face of the masked man, and squinted coldly. “No, you won’t.”

They were human, and government, that much was clear by now, which meant they would have orders to capture the transgenic alive. They must have been tipped off to the presence of a genuine X5 in Puget Sound, of all places, and had come to collect. 

Alec had a feeling he already knew who the tipster was. 

“Logan?” Alec struggled through the haze of pain and the ringing in his ears to turn towards the totaled car. Two men towered over the unconscious man hanging half out of the wreckage. 

A black Hummer drove up to them then, and out jumped a familiar face – Caleb Cale. 

“How’s my nephew? Is he hurt?” Caleb shrieked. 

Alec resolved to kill the hypocritical bastard next chance he got. 

The ring leader walked up to Alec, looking mighty pleased with himself. “X5-494. The Department of Defense will be very happy to see you.”

Alec ignored the guy and glared at Caleb instead. “How’d you know?” 

Caleb scoffed self-righteously. “You shouldn’t have taken off your jacket at dinner last night. My cameras caught a glimpse of your bar code. I ran face recognition on you all night and found a match this morning. Not only are you a freak, you’re a psychotic serial killer, wanted for murder in twelve states!”

Alec rolled his eyes. “Wrong, asshole. That was another freak. Actually, funny story, I’m a genetic clone!”

The look on Caleb’s face was one he’d remember with immense satisfaction for the rest of his life. But he quickly forgot it for the moment when two men lifted Logan out of the wrecked SUV and carried him towards the Humvee.

“Is he okay?” Alec asked no one in particular. 

Caleb rushed to his nephew’s side. “He’ll live, no thanks to you.”

“No thanks to _me_? You poisoned him! You flipped his goddamn car, you fucking _madman_!”

And it occurred to him then how he could buy himself some time to let the paralysis wear off. “Hey, DoD guy! I’ll come with you willingly man, but you gotta promise me you won’t let this lunatic take my friend. Besides, y-you do know who that is, don’t you?”

DoD guy hesitated for a second and Alec realized he had absolutely no idea, but now his curiosity was piqued. Alec opened his mouth and then closed it abruptly, as if he’d spoken too much and was now regretting it. 

“Uh, never mind, forget I said anything,” he scrunched up his nose for effect and added a flash of his patented smart-assed smile, just in case. 

The DoD guy was now visibly considering reneging on whatever deal he’d made with Caleb, and Caleb saw it too. “No, wait a minute, Kaminsky. You promised me you will not touch my nephew. He’s an innocent in all of this. These monsters are obviously manipulating him somehow!”

Alec smirked, even though it hurt to do so, as the agent got sucked into a long-winded conversation with the very verbose Caleb Cale. 

“Enough of this!” Kaminsky finally shut Caleb down and gestured to his men. “Restrain the asset, now!” 

Alec sighed in resignation and lowered his head. To think that this mission was supposed to be an easy one… all he had to do was keep Logan safe. That was all…

The hair on the back of his neck tingled, and instinctively Alec knew that hope was not lost yet. He looked up surreptitiously from under his eyelashes and found a pair of steel grey eyes slid open ever so slightly, fixed right at him. Logan was laid out on a backseat in the Humvee with only one man left to guard him. 

He winked, to which Alec nodded and braced himself. The moment two SWATs reached down for Alec, Logan sat up, head-butted the man leaning over him and grabbed his gun. Then he took aim and fired. 

Alec followed with his enhanced senses the bullet’s trajectory as if in slow motion. And he knew exactly which way to duck to let the missile embed itself in one of his attackers’ shoulders. Before anyone realized what was happening, Logan fired again. This time was even easier. All Alec had to do was elbow the second attacker holding his wrists and slide out of the way. Logan shot the guy squarely in his chest – the bullet catching in the Kevlar so it wouldn’t kill but the point-blank range impact was enough to drop him like a sack of meat. 

Logan jumped out of the vehicle on his own two feet, and suddenly yelled at Alec. “Look out!”

Alec turned just in time to avoid another hit of the tazer from Kaminsky. Now fully recovered (or fully rejuvenated seeing Logan okay), the X5 had no problem getting him with his own weapon. Minutes later, all public and private sector assailants lay scattered on the ground, some unconscious, others writhing in too much pain to be any use. Only three remained standing – the X5, the cyber-journalist, and crazy old Uncle Caleb, who was livid. The glint in his eyes intensified as he trained his own gun at Alec’s head. 

“Drop it!” Logan commanded, holding a gun of his own as he strode past Caleb to stand next to Alec. 

Alec slid closer to his lover, a smug expression on his face. “My hero,” he drawled, loud enough for Caleb to hear. 

Caleb stared at Logan for the longest time. “You… you’re…”

“Yes, I can walk, Uncle. I lied.”

“But how –?”

Logan shrugged indifferently. “Manticore stuff. You don’t wanna know.”

All the blood drained out of the octogenarian’s face at the cursed name. His nostrils flared and he wheezed for a couple seconds, the gun in his hand shaking as he tried to aim it at Alec again. 

“I-Is that why you’re helping this freak, LJ? You’re stealing from your own family just so you can be one of _them_!?!”

Logan moved to stand in front of Alec, shielding him with his own body. “This freak _is_ my family. They all are, like you never were, like you never will be.”

He pulled the check out from the inside of his jacket pocket and flung it in Caleb’s face. 

“I’m done whoring myself,” he rasped painfully. “Not for you, not for Bling, not for anyone.”

The X5 put a hand on Logan’s trembling shoulder and squeezed, feeling his slender frame sway a little. A nasty gash on his right temple was still bleeding, and his right spectacle lens was cracked in three places.

“Let’s go, Logan,” Alec whispered. “Let me take you home.”

They took the Hummer, and left Caleb Cale standing alone and embittered in the middle of the road. Logan watched his uncle get smaller and smaller until he was but a speck of dust on the side-view mirror. 

“That was one hell of a check you tore up.” Alec commented after a few minutes.

“Yeah well,” Logan shrugged. “It’s only money. We’ll figure something else out.” But before Alec could make a suggestion Logan knew he wouldn’t like, he raised a finger and shut him up. “Something legit.” 

Alec rolled his eyes, and tried to let it go. But he didn’t succeed. “I am so sorry, Logan. You went through all of that for nothing.”

“Well, I wouldn’t call the trip a complete loss.”

Alec turned towards his companion and caught Logan smiling right back at him. The look on his face spoke volumes, more than the big strong brave-hearted vigilante would ever be able to say with words. 

His left hand rested on the seat beside him, long, slender digits and pale white knuckles with fresh red bruises around a couple of them. Alec chuckled bitterly, wanting to reach out for that hand but turning away to concentrate on the road instead. 

Logan frowned at him curiously. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just…”

“What?”

Alec licked his lips, struggling to find the words. “It’s just… I’ve never seen you _not_ bruised, Logan. Not once since I met you. Just when I start to believe you’re safe, that _we_ are safe, something goes wrong. Is it always going to be like this? Are we always gonna be fighting for our lives, our right to exist? No, wait – don’t answer that. I don’t want to know.”

The cyber-hero chuckled and then sighed deeply, like he didn’t have a clue what to say anyway. But a second later, he gave Alec all the response he would ever need. 

Logan put his hand over Alec’s on the gear stick between them, stroking and caressing the equally long fingers gently. Alec smiled; then turned his hand over so they could entwine their fingers. 

The human vigilante and the transgenic soldier held on to each other all the way back to Terminal City.

***** END *****

A/N: Please let me know what you think!


End file.
